When you have an established reputation, people will mark you with their estimate of your character based on the actions that caused said reputation. Hence, if you know your personalities and pasttimes don't match, you won't be able to integrate into their circle of friends. You stay as the acquaintance and nothing more because they know they stand to gain nothing from you beyond the little pleasantries.
I've got to get my head out of the sand and stop believing that I can make new friends now when I wasted 2 whole years of such opportunities.
I'm happy that Ab Ovo pulled through in the end, but it completely missed the mark on what I wanted it to help me accomplish. Or it technically succeeded because it helped me to realise that my hopes cannot be realised.
So many people and hardly anybody around for me to talk to? Even Xinping had more friends there. Ridiculous. I think I was happiest when Dennis and Sally complimented my slight changes (tanned and more buff? HAHAHA)
Well, with such great disappointment it's no wonder I found myself down by the Singapore River dousing myself in tequila from the bottle. Damned Benjamin is going to kill my liver, I tell you, quarter bottle of tequila + Flaming Lambo + Boddingtons = die. I don't even remember how I left Zouk, the last thing I registered was the Boddingtons glass (I bet I dropped it somewhere... damn...)
One last thing.
Girls. Hate. Me.
I swear. They give me this sickeningly intimidating feeling that they don't want to talk to me.
posted by Brian @ 8:55 PM
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